On our own

Today is the day I've been dreading since... early November? Late October? Before Tye was born. Today, Tyler returned to work, ending his paternity leave. We were so fortunate to have so much time together as a family, and Tyler and I truly appreciated every day of it. It felt like a never-ending vacation- that is, until New Year's Day, when it suddenly hit both of us that reality was looming around the corner.

I know other new moms fear their spouse returning to work (even for just an eight hour work day) because they don't know what they'll do with the baby by themselves or how they'll care for the baby on their own. For me, that's not a concern. Tye and I are good companions already, and having Tyler's support for seven weeks ensured that I'm a confident caretaker. After all, I've been looking forward to having a baby my whole life, as if I was made to be a mother. I'm not saying I could do it all without Tyler- far from it- but Tye and I will be just fine for a couple days.

The hardest part for me is just missing Tyler. I've grown accustomed to having him here, singing to Tye and to himself, watching the TV on almost full volume, sitting on the couch, keeping the bed warm, begging to hold Tye whenever she's not eating. It's going to be hard not having him in the same place to keep me company. Tye is wonderful, but she doesn't talk back very much yet.

This week, I've packed our schedule while Tyler's gone so we will stay busy and have less down time to miss him. Today, Tye and I went to a free demo of Itsy Bitsy Yoga at Belly Bum Boutique. It was a fun distraction to focus on putting Tye through baby yoga poses and movements. After that, we had a little time to burn before our afternoon appointment, so we went to Whole Foods for a quick shopping trip and lunch (vegetarian chili- perfect for today's frigid temps!), which Tye slept through in her sling. Then we went to Be By Baby, another boutique that was hosting a Drop-In Breast Feeding Clinic with certified lactation consultants available. I wanted to do a weigh and feed, allowing me to weigh Tye before and after eating to see how much she's actually taking in at each feeding. The lactation consultant was excellent! She was really friendly and helpful. She checked Tye's weight, sucking abilities, and latch and watched her feed, giving some helpful pointers as we went along. Tye had a typical feeding session, thankfully, and when we weighed her again, she had taken in two ounces, an appropriate amount for her weight (which is up to 8 pounds 13-15 ounces, great news!). We talked about my goal being exclusively breast feeding, and she assured me that I can slowly wean Tye off of the supplemental formula and my body will make about an extra ounce each day.

It was a good day. Tyler leaving feels like forever ago already. Now, I'm getting ready to video chat with him on Skype. He'll be able to see say goodnight to Tye even though he's not here. It's an awesome bit of technology. I know Tye and I will be fine through this week, and we'll just take it week by week.