Extending the Attitude of Gratitude

We celebrated our Thanksgiving with a road trip to see both our families in Illinois.  Moving away from everyone and seeing family less often has been a difficult change for us, and there's no better way to spend a holiday than surrounded by the people we love and for whom we are so thankful.  Tye is growing so quickly and noticeably right now that she amazed relatives with her expressive vocabulary and thick blonde hair.

Waiting for dinner...

Throughout November, I kept running into people's daily posts of things for which they were thankful.  I appreciate the conscious effort made to focus on being thankful, especially during the month we celebrate Thanksgiving.  Any way to extend the meaning and celebration of Thanksgiving (other than just extra turkey and potatoes) is, in my opinion, a great reminder of all we have.  

Now that Thanksgiving has passed and we're already deep in the throes of Christmas (though last I checked, it's still November), I hope all those people are continuing to practice their mindful thankfulness.  I've been told it takes 30 days for an activity to become habit.  Thanksgiving was on the 24th, almost a week shy of the 30 days it would require for someone to make a habit of noting something for which she is thankful each day.  Another theory by Dr. Maxwell Maltz suggests that 21 consecutive days is a span long enough to create a habit, but they must be consecutive.  I'm hoping there is truth to that theory and that everyone who noted daily what made them thankful will continue that practice, especially through the holidays.

As I grow older, each year I'm more aware of the stark contrast between Thanksgiving's prayers of gratitude and Black Friday's push for wanting, needing more.  Don't get me wrong- I'm very happy that the economy is rebounding, and I even participated in this year's Black Friday shopping mania.  I think I just notice the attitude shift between the two days much more clearly as I gain perspective.  

Or, maybe Black Friday is becoming a bigger deal each year- apparently to some it is, like the lady who pepper sprayed other shoppers over an XBox.  This year, as Black Friday edged it's way into the day of Thanksgiving and stores opened at 10pm Thanksgiving evening, the world of shopping seemed to overtake our one day devoted to thankfulness.  

Yesterday, I was reminded it was Cyber Monday when I opened my laptop to 49 new emails announcing huge discounts.  I deleted most without opening, but one caught my attention: from Patagonia*, an email with the subject line "Do Not Buy This Jacket."  Clever marketing, I thought, and opened it, curious to see what spin on the day the company was throwing.  As I read, I was greeted with the breath of fresh air I needed.  From the email:

Today is Cyber Monday. It will likely be the biggest online shopping day ever. Cyber Monday was created by the National Retail Federation in 2005 to focus media and public attention on online shopping. But Cyber Monday, and the culture of consumption it reflects, puts the economy of natural systems that support all life firmly in the red. We're now using the resources of one-and-a-half planets on our one and only planet.Because Patagonia wants to be in business for a good long time – and leave a world inhabitable for our kids – we want to do the opposite of every other business today. We ask you to buy less and to reflect before you spend a dime on this jacket or anything else.

In a world so deeply immersed in consumerism that not even a full day is devoted to being thankful any longer, we're bombarded daily with messages that we need more.  Combating those sentiments requires a conscious effort, because emails like those above are few and far between.  The first step to wanting less is appreciating what we already have, one more reason to continue the practice of being thankful into December.  So while the holiday of Thanksgiving may have passed, I'd like to wish you a season of continued thanksgiving.  Keep giving thanks and maintain your attitude of gratitude.  Before you know it, it will become a habit that changes your life for the better.

*I love Patagonia products and as much as I wish I was receiving something from Patagonia for sharing this with you, I'm not.  Other than a few online orders, they've never heard of me.  But I did spend the weekend stretching out the stomach in my favorite Patagonia fleece....  

Why Tye won't be eating non-organic meat anytime soon

Researchers from the Translational Genomics Research Institute reported today that 47% of  supermarket meat from five cities (including Chicago) tested positive for Staphylococcus aureus, and of that 47%, 52% of the strains were resistant to three different antibiotics.  Just think about that- when you go to the grocery store and pick up a package of meat, you have a 50/50 chance that it contains Staph, and a 1 in 4 chance that it contains an antibiotic resistant superbug.  

The researchers noted that these samples of meat were not contaminated due to handling but the meat itself contained the bacteria, and the Staph is resistant because of the antibiotics used in factory farmed feedlots.  According to the CDC,  about 11,000 Americans die every year from S. aureus, more than half of whom contracted the resistant form of S. aureus known as MRSA.  Those at highest risk are young children, the elderly, and people with weakened immune systems.  Guess who fits in that category?  Tye.  

I don't have an issue with Tye eating meat, but I have major issues surrounding exposing her to potentially lethal strains of bacteria.  That medium rare steak?  That chicken that's just barely done and dripping a little pink juice?  A 50/50 chance it contains Staph?  I'm just not willing to take that risk with my child, who is in the at-risk category because of her age.  

Re-read that statistic:  the same bacteria found in half the supermarket meat kills 11,000 people a year.  Is it worth the risk for yourself?  (If you do continue to eat factory farmed meat, please please please, practice safe food preparation to prevent cross-contamination and cook your meat thoroughly!)

We recently joined a farm share for meat, dairy, and eggs.  It's a local farm with organic grass-fed beef, raw dairy, and pastured chickens, eggs, lamb, turkey, and pork with a pickup location in Chicago.  These foods are available at a significantly reduced cost in comparison with similar goods at Whole Foods Market, and we know the exact farm where the meat was raised.  Because the animals are raised in pastures and fed natural diets (no corn for the cows, no soy for the chickens or pork, no same-species meat or mystery feed), the animals are naturally healthy and don't need copious amounts of antibiotics.  They also don't naturally contain dangerous S. aureus bacteria.  I feel comfortable with Tye eating meat from this local farm with healthy animals.  I even make our scrambled eggs a little runny and share with Tye my eggs over easy, with beautiful bright orange runny yolks because I trust they're from healthy hens.

I'm not, and never have been, against consuming animal products when they are raised humanely and truly healthfully.  Unfortunately, that can be really difficult to find in the US (and is why I was vegan for 3 years and am still mostly vegetarian).  Tye won't be vegetarian, but especially with terrifying statistics like these in my back pocket, she likely won't be eating non-organic meat anytime soon.  

Tye eating one of her favorite snacks, roasted seaweed (seriously!)

Reflection

So often recently, I think about what we were doing exactly one year ago.  I was off of bed rest and nesting like crazy... although without a nursery to prepare (since we kept our second bedroom a guest bedroom for the first 10 months), I was mostly tying up loose ends and shopping (mostly the latter- I'm not sure not having a nursery saved us any money).  


One year ago today, I was 39 weeks pregnant and wrote about it in my blog post that day.  I  remember, although it isn't included in that post, that 39 weeks was the point in which I decided we could start doing things that actively promote labor, like long walks and foot massages.  Tyler was so impatient (remember, it had been 5 weeks since I'd been put on bed rest and 16 since my first trip to the hospital with contractions- a long wait!) that he took me to Whole Foods to buy every home remedy for inducing labor we had ever read about.  Let me tell you, vegan eggplant parmesan and pineapple are not the greatest pairing, especially when you have occasional reflux...  


Those of you who have been reading Mama Em from its beginning know that it it took me a while to find the true heart of Mama Em and what it should contain.  Initially, I envisioned only my mom, mother in law, and maybe grandma reading it, so I wrote to them about my day and included little details I thought they might find interesting.  I soon found, though, that there were many other topics that fascinated me, from the Shedd Aquarium's beluga whale pregnancy to Project Runway episodes covering maternity fashion.  As I learned more about healthy living and pregnancy, I shared those topics, too.  My blog began to document not only my pregnancy but also my increasing awareness of holistic parenting.  


What makes Mama Em priceless to me is how it has become a journal.  Through blogging, I've learned the value of documenting my life not just in pictures, as I have for years, but in writing about my current emotions, train of thought, and opinions.  Without that, I wouldn't likely remember how much security I found in Tyler's impatient waiting for the birth and how that showed me he was emotionally ready to become a father.  I would have forgotten just how hard that waiting was for me, too, had I not posted about it almost every day for several months (you poor readers!).  I would have forgotten the details of the day before Tye was born, like the way the zipper on my fleece swayed side to side with each step as we walked to the dog park.  And I'm forever grateful to have recorded certain memories, like Tyler's brilliant takes on pregnancy. 


Through blogging, I've also been reminded of the value of journaling for self-reflection.  In college, our Education professor required short daily journal entries about our day student teaching in the classroom.  This exercise taught me to reflect on my day and how my experiences wove themselves into my training.  In the same way, blogging has, for me, become an opportunity for me to gather my thoughts in one place and reflect upon motherhood.  I believe writing about my pregnancy, from the joys to the fears, helped prepare me for the birth.  Now, writing about parenting provides me time to contemplate parenting philosophies, how they affect children, and how they might affect Tye.  I also draw (sometimes strange) parallels that reinforce my attempts to truly appreciate each moment of every day and parent with love, joy, patience, and faith.  Blogging has become therapeutic for me.


Looking a pictures of me one year ago, I can hardly remember what it felt like to have such a huge belly, to feel Baby Girl moving around inside of me, to feel the almost-constant contractions squeezing around my tummy, to be anxiously waiting for such a life-changing event.  Thankfully, I have all those memories and emotions in words, and I can go back and read about each day.  Someday, perhaps Tye will want to read about our journey into life together.  


As I've said before, I'm amazed anyone besides my mom reads Mama Em.  I love knowing that there are others out there, though, actually interested in what I write and even engaging in two-way conversation with your comments (which I love).  You provide motivation to write and to continue to document my journey into motherhood.  Thank you for listening to me for the past 19 months.

Orange, Black, and Green Halloween

For Halloween this year, we're dressing Tye up as Max from Where the Wild Things Are and Tyler and I are going to be the Wild Things.  I've found most of our costumes at Old Navy.  For Tye's furry hooded Max costume, I picked up these furry pieces.  

 


I was considering dirtying them up for her so she'd look more like the grey, worn Max, but after a few minutes at a friend's costume party last week, I realized it isn't necessary- she was perfectly grey within minutes of crawling around.  I also sewed on some black whiskers made of thin ribbon, attached a tail, and made a crown out of yellow poster board.  


Tyler will be wearing this sweater from Old Navy, along with grey pants with added grey scales, a tail, and cardboard claws on his hands and feet.

I'll be wearing a brown sweater and brown pants along with the tail and cardboard claws.  I'm in the process of making hats that look like the Wild Things' heads, inspired by this photo:

         

We'll be able to reuse all of the clothes we bought this year, and we'll save the hats and tails for dress-up for Tye later.  The only waste will be the cardboard hands, feet, and crown (which we'll recycle), the ribbon whiskers, and the scales on Tyler's pants.  Can you tell I'm proud of our re-using abilities this year?  I also love all the costume swaps that are popping up for children's costumes, like the specialty site at thredup.com.   What a great way to re-use an item that has only been worn once, and at a great price, too.  

How are you "greening" your Halloween this year?

The scent of a baby

I recently found a fabulous article at denverpost.com about a Boulder, CO hospital that has made significant efforts to reduce its environmental impact. Included in its new program is cloth diapers for infants! Quite a development considering diapers at many hospitals are provided by the diaper manufacturer for advertising purposes with the idea that if a family starts with a certain brand of diapers at the hospital, they'll look for the same brand at the store. At West Suburban, we were given a package of Pampers Swaddlers. I'm sure many hospitals have Infamil formula provided too, with the same branding process in mind (I received four containers of Infamil formula, unsolicited, free in the mail before Tye was born- obnoxious!). I imagine having cloth diapers at the hospital has a bit of the same effect, though, and parents who are exposed to cloth diapers are hopefully more open to pursing them in the future.

I've thought several times about my next birth (already!), and one detail I think I'll pursue is bringing our own cloth diapers to the hospital for those first few changes. As it was, Tye went diaperless her first 24 hours. We kept her wrapped in hospital blankets, and whenever she went, we knew right away- and celebrated like only parents can celebrate bodily elimination. The Pampers Swaddlers that we received were nice diapers, soft and tiny, with a little cutout for the umbilical cord. And they smelled wonderful, like baby.

Have you ever stopped to wonder why we can identify a certain scent as a baby scent? Personally, I can identify two baby scents: 1) the smell of warm breastmilk and soft human skin, which I had never smelled before having Tye and my milk coming in, and 2) the smell of the baby isle at the grocery or big box store- what I thought babies smelled like before Tye. Most baby products, including diapers, come heavily fragranced with that "baby" scent. Fragrances are listed on ingredient lists as just "fragrance" to protect secret formulas, but that also keeps consumers in the dark as to what is included in the fragrance. Along with other toxic ingredients, almost all fragrances in products include pthalates, which are believed to be carcinogenic hormone disrupters. If you walk into a baby isle, almost every product, from baby lotion to diapers to wipes to diaper cream, all contain "fragrance," and it's that fragrance that we all are led to believe babies smell like. Suddenly, that smell in the baby isle is slightly less appealing, isn't it?

I also recently read an article on WebMD that linked disposable diapers to asthma, which has increased threefold in the past several decades. Childhood asthma has reached an all-time high, affecting of 9.4% of children, or 7 million children, in the US, according to the CDC. When I read the article, I immediately thought of our bedroom mirror. Tye's changing station has been set up on a low dresser in our bedroom, right under a large mirror. When Tye was still itty-bitty tiny, none of the cloth diapers I bought for her fit tightly enough around her skinny little legs to keep anything in the diaper. During that newborn phase that included peeing every 15 minutes and pooping 8-10 times a day, the leaky cloth just wasn't working, so we decided to use disposables short-term and we switched to cloth when Tye reached about 9-10 pounds.

When we were using disposables, we discovered a thick, white film developing on the lower mirror above the changing table. When we switched to cloth diapers, the white film stopped collecting on the mirror. I couldn't believe that the disposable diapers were creating so much dust! Just what was in that dust? And how much of that were we inhaling? Now I wonder how much of that contributes to the development of asthma, and how much of it is that "baby" fragrance. Either way, I'm very happy to be using almost exclusively cloth diapers now. Now that we're ECing and using cloth diapers, Tye is very uncomfortable when she's wet, so we still use disposables when we're on the road so Tye can be a little more comfortable until we have the opportunity to change her. But now, the disposables are Whole Foods 365 brand, which are unfragranced and unbleached, which makes me feel better.

In case you're wondering, we also use baby wash, lotion, and diaper cream free of "fragrance." California Baby makes a line of baby products scented with only essential oils that is available at Target, and Whole Foods has other options for naturally-scented, organic baby products. While they don't capture that "baby" smell like other brands in the baby isle, they also don't overpower the true baby scent of warm milk and skin. I'll take Tye's true scent over a mass-produced fragrance any day. She smells delicious, and she smells like only my baby smells. Mmmmm.... Tye. Yum.