Friday Favorite- Bedtime Favorites

The only constant in our bedtime routine is that it's always changing.  The main components of the routine stay the same- put on pajamas, brush teeth, apply a calming essential oil, read books, then rock, sing, and nurse to sleep.  Within that routine, though, we go through phases. 

Our newest must-read bedtime book (and really, Tye's favorite book any time of the day) is the book The Little Mouse, The Red Ripe Strawberry, and The Big Hungry Bear by Don Wood and Audrey Wood. 

I first discovered this book when I taught a classroom of two year olds in Germany.  Daily, the majority of the students requested this book, and everyone was captivated by Little Mouse.  The simple plot, in which Little Mouse picks a red, ripe strawberry and can only save it from the Big Hungry Bear by sharing it with the reader, is easy to follow for young readers.  Children seem easily engaged by the text, too, in which the reader speaks directly to Little Mouse rather than telling a story about the character.  Each reading, the child participates in an interaction with the mouse and helps to solve his problem.  Tye, who particularly likes eating the strawberry along with Little Mouse, could read this book on repeat for hours.

After our books, we turn out lights, say a prayer, sing goodnight to Mico, Baby, Mommy, Daddy, and Tye, and then sing a lullaby as we rock and nurse.  Since April, I've been singing the lullaby "Su La Li" to Tye, one that we learned in Music Together and I have now sung for hours upon hours.  Tye's newest infatuation is "Story About Sammy," a sweet children's song I learned as a teacher.  

(I have no clue who these kids are, but thanks to a search on YouTube, you can watch their adorable faces sing "Story About Sammy")


Now as we rock each night, Tye requests "Sammy song" and falls asleep listening to my version of the song, in which Sammy is a girl with a very, very long list of animals she'd like to imitate on her way to the store.  Should I dare attempt to sing any other song, Tye will open her eyes and ask for "more Sammy song."  While I can only guess why Tye loves this song so much, I have a feeling it's because of the simple, repetitive verses combined with animals and their actions.


Many nights in the past, I've brought my phone or Nook into Tye's bedroom with me so I can play games or read as she falls asleep.  Recently, though- perhaps because her second birthday is around the corner- I've been cherishing our time together as we rock and sing.  I remind myself that today is the youngest Tye will ever be again.  Tomorrow, she'll wake a day older, and I never know when our bedtime routine just might change again.  

She even smiles when she's asleep!

Though I think I would be smiling, too, after a three and a half hour long nap...

What it's like to nurse a toddler

When I became pregnant with Tye, I had no idea I'd be nursing over a year later.  I didn't know the health benefits of nursing beyond a year, or even six months.  To name a few, children who are breastfed into their second year are healthier, have fewer allergies, have high IQs, and are socially well-adjusted later in childhood.  The benefits for the mother include  protection from osteoporosis and rheumatoid arthritis, and lower risks of breast, uterine, ovarian, and endometrial cancers.  The American Academy of Pediatrics, the World Health Organization, and the Surgeon General all recommend nursing until age two or beyond.  


The more I learned, the more I realized that nursing was worth continuing.  However, it wasn't until I had Tye, battled through supply issues, and experienced the depth of our nursing relationship that I started thinking about nursing a toddler.  Looking down at the baby in my arms, I couldn't imagine a walking, talking child latched on in her place.


For us, nursing into toddlerhood has been an easy experience as that baby has grown, day by day, into a child.  At 16 months, Tye nurses on average 3-4 times a day, sometimes more, but always first thing upon waking in the morning, falling asleep for nap (unless she falls asleep in the car), and falling asleep for the night.  When she wants to nurse, Tye makes the sign for milk and says "Na?  Na?" as if she's asking permission.  I'm a lucky mama- Tye still sits fairly still while she nurses.  Most times, she curls up so her whole body can lie in my lap.  Still, there are times when I feel like she's doing gymnastics while she's latched to my breast.  


At night, Tye wakes up 3-4 times and often comfort nurses until she falls asleep.  On nights when she's sick or teething and up most of the night, nursing calms her quickly and eases her back to sleep, even if it's a fitful slumber.  We either nurse side-lying or with her laying across my torso, her legs hanging off my body (and often kicking Tyler in the ribs).  I've thought about night-weaning Tye, but for now, neither of us is losing much sleep because of nursing at night.    Tye is sleeping for longer and longer stretches without waking and is choosing to nurse less frequently when she does wake, so we're moving in the right direction.


As a child grows, the mother's breasts begin to produce milk only upon demand, rather than continuously as they did for the newborn.  I no longer find myself with breasts feeling full of milk, even if it's been most of a day without nursing.  Now that Tye is older, I'm also able to negotiate a bit before nursing, especially convenient when we're in public.  Often a snack is all she needs to distract her attention, though I have to stay on my toes- if Tye is in my arms, she'll reach down my shirt in an attempt to serve herself.  We're working on that... 


And what about those teeth, you ask?  Well, I once thought I'd stop breastfeeding when my children began to have teeth, probably because I clearly remember my nursing brother biting my mother and thinking it was horrifically scary.  However, it's not.  Tye hasn't experimented much with biting, and when she has, it's been because I was trying too hard to encourage her to nurse to sleep.  When a child nurses, her tongue covers her bottom teeth, sticking out almost beyond her lower lip.  For a nursling to bite down on the nipple, she has to first move her tongue, giving mom a warning she may be about to bite.  For us, it hasn't been an issue.


As Tye grows and begins testing her limits, pushing her levels of independence, and exploring her world, nursing provides her with a safety net of sorts.  After a long run around the park or a few hours playing with friends, I can feel Tye unwind as she lays in my lap nursing.  She'll often look up at me with her big blue eyes as she's latched on to my breast and pat my chest gently or wave up at me.  Sometimes she'll wrap her arms around me in a big hug, her outstretched hands patting my back.


Although she's a running, chatty toddler, nursing Tye doesn't feel any different than nursing her as an infant.  Now that we have so much practice, it feels very second-nature.  I'm grateful I didn't put a timeline on our breastfeeding relationship when Tye was born and that we've been able to experience the benefits of nursing into toddlerhood.  


This covers the basics of my experience nursing a toddler for the past four months, though I'm sure I'll have plenty to add by the time Tye weans completely.  Because most Americans don't nurse into toddlerhood, sharing our experiences can be even more helpful to other moms.  After all, nursing a toddler is a natural, beautiful experience- what better to share.

Advice to a Mother-To-Be

Yesterday, I co-hosted a beautiful New Mother Celebration, a kind of a baby shower in which we concentrated on welcoming the expectant mom to this new stage in life.  We rubbed her feet and her neck, brought her her favorite foods and recent cravings, and shared our wishes for her birth- an emotional outpouring that had all of us in joyful tears.  It was truly beautiful.


We also each wrote down our mothering advice and insights, which will be compiled along with photos of the celebration to form a memory book of today.  This got me thinking of a whole variety of ideas I wish someone had shared with me before Tye was born.  Here are a few things I've learned along my way.

• Follow your instinct.  No matter what you decide, someone somewhere will back you up, so go with your gut.
• As soon as possible after the birth, write your birth story, including all the details you remember.  Though it seems impossible, those details will be hard- if not impossible- to remember in a few short weeks, and you'll be thankful you saved them.
• Take pictures of your babe nursing, from your point of view. It's a glimpse of a sweet moment you'll treasure later.
• Mothers weren't meant to mother alone, but in a community, with support. Don't be ashamed to ask for help, or to have friends over when the house is messy, or to simply take help when it is offered. We've all been there, and we're offering because we want to.
• Find or build a tribe of like-minded moms.  Meet them at Attachment Parenting support groups, La Leche League meetings, or Holistic Moms Network meetings.
• If you're considering seeing a Lactation Consultant, just do it.  You'll be glad you did, and sooner is always better for your supply and your baby.
• Don't forget that just because your hug quota was met for the day by your hours of cuddling baby, your husband's most likely wasn't.  Give him lots of hugs, too.
• Every stage, by definition, has an end.
• When friends and family hold your baby for too long (you'll know it when you miss her), just tell them it's time to nurse. That's something only you can do, and you get baby back. It's okay to do this every 15 minutes.
• Have your husband help choose the color of your baby carrier so he will feel comfortable wearing it (our favorites were a ring sling and later the Ergo).
• When the whole world asks if your baby is sleeping through the night yet, it's okay to smile and respond, "She's a great sleeper," or "We get lots of sleep," even if it's only true because you sleep beside her while she nurses all night long. They'll think you're a great parent- which you are.

Photos from your own point of view remind you how sweet that cuddle actually was.

What is your advice for a new mother?  What do you wish you had known?

Tiiiiiiiime is on my side (yes it is)

I've always dreaded the end of Daylight Saving Time each fall.  When I was young, it meant the end of soccer practices.  When I was older, being able to sleep in an hour didn't make up for the dark evenings.  Recently, the time change meant that suddenly, my evening commute was spent driving in the dark.  Last year, it didn't make much of a difference to me other than having to walk Mico earlier in the evening and hope his puppy bladder held 'til morning. 

This year, I am really looking forward to the time change.  Tye's sleep patterns have shifted recently in a way that makes daily activities a lot harder for me- she's up until 9:30 or 10 each evening, and then makes up for it by sleeping until 9 the next morning.  While I don't mind sleeping in with her, it makes getting to our 10am activities difficult (and we've been late to every one the past two weeks... something I hate).  And, in order for me to get any time to myself while Tye is in bed, I have to stay awake later than I prefer.  There goes my time to fold laundry, prep food for the next day, and do any work on my computer- like blogging.  Hence my recent absence.  

I think the change in sleep patterns is related to Tye's shifting nap schedule.  Somehow, she's surviving on one nap a day most days.  I'm trying to help gently persuade Tye to sleep in a pattern that will help her fall asleep earlier in the evenings using her bedtime routine of reading stories, then nursing in the rocking chair to lullabyes, but some evenings it just doesn't work.  In the past, I could keep Tye on my breast until she relaxed.  Now, when she'd rather be up and about, she fights back- or should I say, bites back.  And I can't blame her for biting when she's bored with nursing and would rather be playing.  I learned that lessen rather quickly.  

In terms of sleep issues, this one is so minor- Tye is sleeping almost 12 hours a night, and sleeping in fairly good chunks (last night, I got FIVE HOURS of uninterrupted sleep- heaven!!!!!!!!).  She goes to sleep easily once she's tired, whether it's for a nap or in the evening, without being fussy beforehand.  If our social calendar didn't require us to wake up earlier each morning, I wouldn't even worry about it.  Sure, it would be nice to wake up early enough to run and shower before our 10am appointments, then have a couple hours to work and relax after Tye falls asleep each evening... but I can also survive without, and Tye is happy now.  That's why I see the time change as the perfect solution.  Our sleep patterns will swing one hour in the direction I'd like without having to push Tye at all.  I'm still not excited for dark evenings come November 7th, but at least this year there's an up side to the time change.  Of course, things could change in the next month...

The more they sleep, the more they sleep.

Have you ever had a period of days all so busy, so full that you need a day of recovery?  I love being busy, but we hadn't had a break in our schedule for way too long.  Nothing was particularly exhausting (though the teething-induced lack of sleep wasn't helping), but everything was adding up to a sum greater than its parts.  I felt like I do when we return from vacation and I tell myself, I need a vacation from my vacation.   


We finally had our recovery day yesterday.  It was beautiful.  Tye slept until 9:30am.  When she fell asleep for her nap at noon, we were both still in our pajamas.   After waking an hour into her nap, she fell asleep in my arms and I decided to simply sit on the couch and watch recorded TV shows until she woke up.  She took another half hour nap at 5, and still went to bed about 8:30, within her normal range.   I guess I wasn't the only one feeling like I needed a day to recharge.

Early Rising

Tye's sleep "schedule" is still far from regular.  She has a pattern, but definitely not a set schedule.  The past two mornings, Tye's been up bright and early- yesterday at 5:30 when Tyler left for work, and this morning a little after 6.  Compared to the past few weeks of waking between 7 and 8, this is early for her.  The upside is that we are accomplishing a lot each morning before the unseasonable heat sets in.  This morning, by the time we left the house at 9:30, we had apples and kale in the dehydrator, I had eaten a good breakfast (rare in itself!), we went on a run with Mico, and I showered and dressed.  


This morning was Tye's first run with me, and it went really well.  Prior to this, we'd only used the stroller twice, and both times we used the car seat adapter.  I was cautiously optimistic about the stroller, and now that's she's six months old, we can run together.  Because Tye can't see me now that she's facing forwards, I wondered how long she would go before she wanted some confirmation it was still me pushing her along.  Knowing  how much she dislikes being in her car seat, I wondered if being strapped into a different seat would be equally miserable for her.  On top of my concerns for Tye, I was very nervous about running with Mico next to the stroller.  He does well running by my side and the trainer worked with him on walking next to the stroller, but combining those two seemed a potential disaster.


I packed the borrowed Ergo carrier in the bottom of the stroller, leashed Mico, carried the stroller downstairs, spent 15 minutes adjusting the straps, and finally, we were off.  The run went really well!  I learned that Mico does a good enough job running close to me that I could loop his leash diagonally around my torso, over the shoulder, with enough slack for him to run and still enough leash for me to grab if I need to (but if you ever see me with a rope burn on my right shoulder, now you know how I got it!).  


Tye was great!  She made it almost two miles before we stopped so she could nurse in the Ergo, and I think she wanted to nurse because she'd had the hiccups for quite some time by that point.  We walked as she nursed, covered by the hood, and when she finished, she went back in the stroller for the rest of the run.  Mico was the reason we had to finally head back- he was finished running after about two and a half miles, and with the temperatures rising quickly, I decided to honor his puppydog "don't make me keep going" eyes.  Maybe tomorrow we'll drop him off and keep going!


If this is how we get to spend our early mornings, I'm all about it.  Besides, I couldn't ask for a sweeter alarm clock.

The more they sleep...

It's been an interesting week!  Tye is sleeping more than she has since she was a newborn.  I believe she's growing, as she's also had days when she seemed to want to nurse nonstop.  But I can't help wondering if we've just finally adopted a schedule that is allowing her to sleep better, and therefore, sleep more.  I keep thinking of a comment another mom made that "The more children sleep... the more they sleep!" Her point was that if you put your kids to bed an hour late hoping they'll sleep in an hour later, they often wake earlier; but if you put them to bed earlier, they actually sleep in later.  


I figured out recently that when Tye wakes at 7:30-8 for her feeding, if I nurse her back to sleep, she'll sleep another hour or two, putting her waking time at 9 or 10 am.  Even when she sleeps in, she still takes her morning nap about two hours after she wakes. Now that we've established a well-rested morning, Tye is also taking longer afternoon naps and falling asleep earlier- about 8:30 or 9 pm.  It's been really amazing how much Tye is sleeping.  She's either growing full-speed or she was sleep deprived for a while there.  I just keep thinking of that mom's advice.  "The more children sleep... the more they sleep."  It's working for us!

Somebody's busy growing...

She's been asleep practically all day. Last time she did this, she
woke up several inches longer...

Nap time

Those cheeks...