Have you ever felt like someone was trying to send you a message? I've had one of those days.
This morning at Mommy Cafe, hosted by Be By Baby, my friend Melissa let me hold her 3 week old baby, Avery. She's a beautiful little bundle with dark brown wisps of hair, blue eyes, and that serious, slightly wrinkled newborn face that melts a mother's heart. Holding her tiny frame on my chest, my first thought was, This is the size a baby is when she comes out of you. She's so tiny- now I get how it's possible. I know, it's a crazy thing to think when you're holding someone else's baby, but it was as if I was instantly transported back to Tye's birth. The memories of her moving from being inside of me to suddenly outside of me came flooding back. It was an overwhelming experience to hold a newborn again for the first time since Tye was one herself.
On the way home from Mommy Cafe, Tye and I stopped at Trader Joe's for groceries. As we were waiting to check out, Tye starting giggling at the woman in line next to us. We chatted briefly and then she looked me in the eyes and said to me, "My baby just left for college this weekend. Enjoy this time." When I thought of Tye leaving me to go to school, my eyes welled up with tears and I almost broke down crying in TJ's. Thank God I have time to prepare myself before then, even if that time is going to fly by.
When we got home, I read a new posting on a blog I started following recently. A Holistic Mom's Network member sent a message to the group on behalf of another mom who was seeking breastmilk. Her toddler-aged daughter, who was only nursing once a day, was admitted to the ICU and was receiving IV nutrition. When able, she wanted her daughter to receive breastmilk as her first real nutrition because of its healing benefits, and she needed more until she could increase her own supply. Of course, I read her blog, sobbed at the pictures of a beautiful little girl hooked up to machines, and have been checking in on her recovery ever since. Each time I do, I'm reminded to say a prayer of thanks for Tye's health, something so critical that can be so easy to take for granted when it's good.
As I nursed Tye to sleep tonight, I realized a pattern in my day. It was as if I had been visited by the Ghosts of Babies Past, Future, and Present. The lesson in each visit is clear- to treasure my precious time with Tye and appreciate every moment I have with her. She is growing up so fast. Already, I have a hard time remembering what she was like as a newborn, and that was just nine months ago. Before I know it, it will be nine years, then nineteen years. Although I can't stop time- and really, I don't want to- I can conscientiously appreciate the present while it's here. Tomorrow comes in the blink of an eye.