I've been feeling really old recently. It started with me trying to find an outfit to wear to dinner at a trendy restaurant with Tyler's co-workers. I kept finding myself responding to clothing items with phrases my mother would say- "(Gasp!) Who in their right mind would wear that?"
Then I spent a few minutes reprogramming the SiriusXM radio channels in the car after they changed all the station numbers. I realized my top channels are, in order: indie rock, kid's, coffee house (the new generation of smooth jazz), classic alternative ("classic"=old), "first wave" alternative (the first alternative bands), and 90's (it has its own station?!?). I listen to almost all OLDIES! Seriously, who knew programming radio stations could cause a midlife crisis?
To top it off, we've been planning for a couple weeks now to spend today at the zoo with a friend of mine from college and her son. She and I have known each other for over 10 years now. 10 years is now significantly closer to 1/3 my life than 1/2 my life. You see where math gets me...
Feeling old isn't all bad. I'm excessively happy with where my life has taken me and all I've accomplished in my years. I feel a perfect combination of fulfilled and ambitious, content and yet ready to take on the world. I guess what shocks me most about feeling old is wondering how so much time could have passed so quickly.
A perfect example of time passing quickly? Exactly two years ago, I wrote my first ever blog post, complete with a photo of my bitty baby bump at 11 weeks. Looking back, I'm hit first with the amazement of how much I've changed and learned since that day. I feel as though I've grown more in the past two years than in the previous 27 combined.
With all my recent feelings of being old, I keep reminding myself, This is the youngest I'll ever be again. While I say it to try to encourage myself to enjoy today, it doesn't do much to make me feel younger. But when I look at Tye's smile, or run my fingers through her ringlets, or watch her roar at the lions, love washes over me and I know that if this is what getting old means, then by all means, bring it on.