Wednesday, February 1, 2012
Tuesday, January 31, 2012
Us Three Girls
I'll never forget telling one of my mommy friends in Chicago that we were moving to New York. When she realized I was going to be in New York when I had our second baby, she gasped and asked gravely, "What will you eat?" Thinking I perhaps misheard her (she speaks with a sometimes heavy Mexican accent), I asked her to clarify. "How will you get food? After the birth, what will you eat?" she wondered. I wondered, then, too.
We are truly blessed with generous family, though, who were willing to give up their time, vacation days, and resources to come and help us as we transitioned into a family of four. For the first couple days after Etta's birth, Tyler took care of us three girls while our parents re-worked plane trips to try to get to us sooner than they had planned (no one had anticipated Etta's arrival being ten days before her due date- except me, maybe). First, Tyler's mom stayed with us for a week, then my mom came for a week, and then my dad was here for a week. We fully realize how fortunate we are to have had so much help from family, especially since they all had to fly in to be with us. The lovingly home-cooked meals and help with housework really played a part in my recovery. Most of all, having someone to play with Tye so I could nurse Etta or hold Etta so I could cuddle with Tye was priceless. Dividing my attention between the two girls has been the hardest part of mothering two for me so far. Those extra hands for the past three weeks were lifesavers.
Yesterday was my first day with the girls without other adult help. To say I was nervous about it wouldn't be an exaggeration- on Sunday, I was pretty scared of what might happen- or not happen. I still spend a huge portion of each day sitting while I nurse Etta, and that can be hard for Tye, who has so much energy. Until Etta can nurse in the sling while I can simultaneously entertain/chase Tye, I worry about how I'll manage.
However, our first day was a notably excellent one. We made coconut macaroons in the morning, did a load of laundry, napped, went to the playground in the afternoon, ran an errand on the way home, and made dinner, all without any major meltdowns from any of us (and we didn't resort to turning on the TV ever!). That's a full day in my book. While I know they won't all be this easy, starting out on a good note- or a good day- is always helpful.
Photographic evidence that we made it to the playground on day one of Us Three Girls:
We are truly blessed with generous family, though, who were willing to give up their time, vacation days, and resources to come and help us as we transitioned into a family of four. For the first couple days after Etta's birth, Tyler took care of us three girls while our parents re-worked plane trips to try to get to us sooner than they had planned (no one had anticipated Etta's arrival being ten days before her due date- except me, maybe). First, Tyler's mom stayed with us for a week, then my mom came for a week, and then my dad was here for a week. We fully realize how fortunate we are to have had so much help from family, especially since they all had to fly in to be with us. The lovingly home-cooked meals and help with housework really played a part in my recovery. Most of all, having someone to play with Tye so I could nurse Etta or hold Etta so I could cuddle with Tye was priceless. Dividing my attention between the two girls has been the hardest part of mothering two for me so far. Those extra hands for the past three weeks were lifesavers.
Yesterday was my first day with the girls without other adult help. To say I was nervous about it wouldn't be an exaggeration- on Sunday, I was pretty scared of what might happen- or not happen. I still spend a huge portion of each day sitting while I nurse Etta, and that can be hard for Tye, who has so much energy. Until Etta can nurse in the sling while I can simultaneously entertain/chase Tye, I worry about how I'll manage.
However, our first day was a notably excellent one. We made coconut macaroons in the morning, did a load of laundry, napped, went to the playground in the afternoon, ran an errand on the way home, and made dinner, all without any major meltdowns from any of us (and we didn't resort to turning on the TV ever!). That's a full day in my book. While I know they won't all be this easy, starting out on a good note- or a good day- is always helpful.
Photographic evidence that we made it to the playground on day one of Us Three Girls:
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| (Don't worry, I could see Etta's face easily as she slept on my chest.) |
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| The Big Sis! |
Monday, January 30, 2012
Third week update
Wednesday's appointment with the Ear, Nose, and Throat specialist (which feels like forever ago) went incredibly smoothly. My dad was in town helping out, so he and Tye came with to the appointment and I was incredibly grateful to have someone watching Tye while I waited nervously in the waiting room. The doctor to whom we were referred was excellent- he was friendly and caring and also knew exactly what a breastfed newborn needs for an efficient latch. He clamped Etta's frenulum, then quickly snipped it and- perhaps the smartest move of the day- had me hold a piece of gauze and apply pressure over the cut for 90 seconds. Giving me a task at that moment forced me to into action rather than sitting, watching Etta and worrying about her. As I held the wad of gauze in place, Etta stopped crying and was ready to nurse after the 90 seconds were up. At home that evening, Etta seemed to be a little uncomfortable, which was hard to watch, but she slept well and was fine the next day.
The doctor who performed the fenectomy told me we'll likely see slow, continued improvement in Etta's latch over the next three weeks rather than an immediate improvement that day. Sure enough, Etta's latch seems to be slowly improving as she learns how to use her new tongue. Her latch is very noticeably stronger now, and she often needs less assistance to get a good, deep latch, but she still isn't completely clearing the breast on her own at a feeding. It's only been a few days, and Etta seems to be taking in less air when she nurses and has less gas, though both are still happening (then again, that just happens with some babies...). When Etta cries, I still look into her mouth at her new tongue in amazement.
I get to see that tongue fairly often. Etta's disposition is very different than Tye's when she was a newborn. While Tye slept all day, every day, and had to be roused for feedings, Etta rarely stays asleep for long periods of time and wants to nurse constantly (partly, perhaps, because she never gets all the milk out of my breasts). Whereas Tye, in her sleepy state, barely cried and never screamed unless it was really a serious event, Etta will be sitting or sleeping peacefully one second, then screaming the next. I'm very grateful that Etta isn't as sleepy as Tye was in her first weeks, because I know that sleepiness contributed to my supply issues with her (she, too, never finished the breast, because she would fall asleep two minutes into the feeding and then sleep several hours...). But I'm also grateful that Etta is my second child and I've had the experience of an easily consoled baby. I feel confident in my parenting style and choices and know significantly more about breastfeeding this time around, so I'm not second-guessing my every action. When Etta opens her mouth to scream and gives me a glimpse of her clipped tongue, I remind myself that she is making her needs known and that I'm doing everything possible to meet them.
The doctor who performed the fenectomy told me we'll likely see slow, continued improvement in Etta's latch over the next three weeks rather than an immediate improvement that day. Sure enough, Etta's latch seems to be slowly improving as she learns how to use her new tongue. Her latch is very noticeably stronger now, and she often needs less assistance to get a good, deep latch, but she still isn't completely clearing the breast on her own at a feeding. It's only been a few days, and Etta seems to be taking in less air when she nurses and has less gas, though both are still happening (then again, that just happens with some babies...). When Etta cries, I still look into her mouth at her new tongue in amazement.
I get to see that tongue fairly often. Etta's disposition is very different than Tye's when she was a newborn. While Tye slept all day, every day, and had to be roused for feedings, Etta rarely stays asleep for long periods of time and wants to nurse constantly (partly, perhaps, because she never gets all the milk out of my breasts). Whereas Tye, in her sleepy state, barely cried and never screamed unless it was really a serious event, Etta will be sitting or sleeping peacefully one second, then screaming the next. I'm very grateful that Etta isn't as sleepy as Tye was in her first weeks, because I know that sleepiness contributed to my supply issues with her (she, too, never finished the breast, because she would fall asleep two minutes into the feeding and then sleep several hours...). But I'm also grateful that Etta is my second child and I've had the experience of an easily consoled baby. I feel confident in my parenting style and choices and know significantly more about breastfeeding this time around, so I'm not second-guessing my every action. When Etta opens her mouth to scream and gives me a glimpse of her clipped tongue, I remind myself that she is making her needs known and that I'm doing everything possible to meet them.
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
Monday, January 23, 2012
All Tied Up
During the hours after Etta's birth, she nursed quietly and slept peacefully. Our midwife left just a few hours after her birth, leaving us to catch up on rest and bond as a family of four, knowing she would be back the next day to check on us. That evening, as Etta let out one of her first real cries, I caught a glimpse of her little pink heart-shaped tongue. Etta is tongue tied.
I wasn't at all surprised to see the tip of Etta's tongue being pulled down by her tight frenulum. My paternal grandfather, his three daughters including my mother, and one of my younger brothers were all tongue tied, and all but my brother had their tongues clipped. When our midwife returned the next day, she confirmed that Etta is definitely tongue tied, but thought that between the strength of her latch and her ability to to reach her tongue beyond her gum line, that we would be okay nursing in the short term at least. The midwife decided to return again on the third day to weigh Etta again, just to be sure she didn't lose more than 10% of her body weight. By then, Etta was within the 10% weight loss allowed and my milk was already coming in, so we felt good about waiting until our one week appointment with the pediatrician.
Signs of tongue tie include Etta's heart-shaped tongue; difficulty latching, staying latched or a painful latch; slow weight gain; and recurrent clogged ducts and/or mastitis (especially if combined with slow weight gain). When a newborn is tongue tied, her shorter tongue makes establishing an effective latch difficult or impossible, which in turn makes emptying the breast a challenge (making the mother prone to clogged ducts and mastitis). With that in mind, I started several practices to make sure Etta would get as much milk as possible and gain as much as she could in her first week.
First, I made sure Etta nursed at least every two hours- and often, Etta ensured she nursed at even shorter intervals. Because she was drinking less at each feeding than she would have been with a great latch, those feedings needed to happen more often. During nursing sessions, I used breast compressions to help Etta empty the breast (Dr. Jack Newman has a great video on breast compression technique, which you can use with any nursling, available on YouTube here). To help establish a sufficient supply, I let Tye nurse often in place of pumping after nursing, which prevents a low supply that can accompany a poor latch.
Using these techniques, Etta regained a good amount of the weight she lost after the birth by her one week appointment and weighed in at 6 pounds 8 ounces, close to the 6 pounds 13 ounces she weighed at birth. By her two week appointment this past Thursday, Etta was up to 7 pounds even. Although she wasn't worried about it, the pediatrician referred us to an Ear, Nose, and Throat specialist to look at the tongue tie because I expressed my concern at Etta's constant nursing, inability to clear the breast, and air intake during nursing causing extreme gassiness.
Then, Thursday afternoon, I suddenly came down with mastitis. I woke from a nap with a throbbing lump in my breast and within hours had a fever, chills, body aches, and a red, hot, swollen breast. Thankfully, my mom is in town this week and was able to help entertain Tye and take care of me while I rested and tried a variety of natural remedies to take care of the infection. By Saturday morning, with my regimen of raw garlic, increased vitamin C, topical applications of lavender essential oil, extra sleep, alternating heat and massage, and frequent nursing, my fever had broken. I'm still keeping up everything I was doing because I still have a red, warm lump on my breast signaling at least a clogged duct, but now that the fever has lowered, I feel significantly better.
At least, physically, I feel better. Emotionally, I'm nervous about our appointment on Wednesday with the specialist. I think Etta is a great candidate for a frenectomy, but I worry about the pain she'll experience and her- and my own- ability to cope with that. Though my mom leaves town tomorrow, my dad will be here to help watch Tye during the appointment- something I'm extremely thankful for, since I don't think I could handle such an emotional appointment with Tye along, too (couldn't you just imagine the three of us all in tears, the doctor staring at us, speechless?).
I'm hoping the frenectomy can be done quickly at the appointment Wednesday and that it provides a solution to Etta's weak latch, her constant nursing, and her gassiness, and that it prevents future bouts of mastitis. Hopefully, the short-lived pain will be outweighed by the result of a happier baby, healthier mama, and easier nursing relationship. Time, and likely a snip, will tell.
Another great post on tongue tie, its symptoms and diagnosis, its affect on breastfeeding, and frenectomies was posted recently by Mommypotamus- a great read! And Kellymom.com has great information available here.
 |
| The heart shape; it sometimes looks even more pronounced. |
Signs of tongue tie include Etta's heart-shaped tongue; difficulty latching, staying latched or a painful latch; slow weight gain; and recurrent clogged ducts and/or mastitis (especially if combined with slow weight gain). When a newborn is tongue tied, her shorter tongue makes establishing an effective latch difficult or impossible, which in turn makes emptying the breast a challenge (making the mother prone to clogged ducts and mastitis). With that in mind, I started several practices to make sure Etta would get as much milk as possible and gain as much as she could in her first week.
First, I made sure Etta nursed at least every two hours- and often, Etta ensured she nursed at even shorter intervals. Because she was drinking less at each feeding than she would have been with a great latch, those feedings needed to happen more often. During nursing sessions, I used breast compressions to help Etta empty the breast (Dr. Jack Newman has a great video on breast compression technique, which you can use with any nursling, available on YouTube here). To help establish a sufficient supply, I let Tye nurse often in place of pumping after nursing, which prevents a low supply that can accompany a poor latch.
Using these techniques, Etta regained a good amount of the weight she lost after the birth by her one week appointment and weighed in at 6 pounds 8 ounces, close to the 6 pounds 13 ounces she weighed at birth. By her two week appointment this past Thursday, Etta was up to 7 pounds even. Although she wasn't worried about it, the pediatrician referred us to an Ear, Nose, and Throat specialist to look at the tongue tie because I expressed my concern at Etta's constant nursing, inability to clear the breast, and air intake during nursing causing extreme gassiness.
Then, Thursday afternoon, I suddenly came down with mastitis. I woke from a nap with a throbbing lump in my breast and within hours had a fever, chills, body aches, and a red, hot, swollen breast. Thankfully, my mom is in town this week and was able to help entertain Tye and take care of me while I rested and tried a variety of natural remedies to take care of the infection. By Saturday morning, with my regimen of raw garlic, increased vitamin C, topical applications of lavender essential oil, extra sleep, alternating heat and massage, and frequent nursing, my fever had broken. I'm still keeping up everything I was doing because I still have a red, warm lump on my breast signaling at least a clogged duct, but now that the fever has lowered, I feel significantly better.
At least, physically, I feel better. Emotionally, I'm nervous about our appointment on Wednesday with the specialist. I think Etta is a great candidate for a frenectomy, but I worry about the pain she'll experience and her- and my own- ability to cope with that. Though my mom leaves town tomorrow, my dad will be here to help watch Tye during the appointment- something I'm extremely thankful for, since I don't think I could handle such an emotional appointment with Tye along, too (couldn't you just imagine the three of us all in tears, the doctor staring at us, speechless?).
I'm hoping the frenectomy can be done quickly at the appointment Wednesday and that it provides a solution to Etta's weak latch, her constant nursing, and her gassiness, and that it prevents future bouts of mastitis. Hopefully, the short-lived pain will be outweighed by the result of a happier baby, healthier mama, and easier nursing relationship. Time, and likely a snip, will tell.
Another great post on tongue tie, its symptoms and diagnosis, its affect on breastfeeding, and frenectomies was posted recently by Mommypotamus- a great read! And Kellymom.com has great information available here.
Sunday, January 22, 2012
Thursday, January 19, 2012
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